Wanna get married? Rock, paper, scissors!

"Going to the chapel and we're...gonna get married," I hummed to the 1964 hit tune by The Dixie Cups as I got ready recently to attend a wedding.
And then it hit me.
"Oh my GAWD!" I yelled at my reflection in the mirror, nearly jabbing myself in the eye with the mascara wand. "We're not friends of the bride and groom anymore, we're friends of the bride and groom's PARENTS!"
It was a sobering moment.
You know you're getting up there in age when you attend way more funerals then you do weddings. And when you do attend a wedding, it's for someone's kid who, the last time you checked, was eight years old.
And now they're getting married.
But weddings these days aren't the same as they used to be I found out after attending this particular nuptial event. Not that it was bad - it was a beautiful - but it was a far cry from the traditional ceremonies that were celebrated back in my day.
There were several clues that this wedding was going to be different.
First of all, instead of the china and crystal couples used to register for, this list included pillows, pillows and more pillows. We're not quite sure WHY they wanted so many pillows because, in the old days, one under your head was sufficient.
It also listed board games - lots and lots of board games - such as Taboo, Balderdash, Fact or Crap and Nintendo.
You know you're getting married young when...
At the ceremony, instead of a chapel, the wedding was held outside with the gorgeous Colorado scenery as a back drop.
The minister was an Italian-looking man dressed all in black. In fact, he looked like one of the Mob characters on the TV show, "The Sopranos."
The groom was adorable, but instead of the traditional tuxedo, he wore slacks, a long-sleeved shirt and a vest - complete with a derby hat - looking very much like a 1930's actor out of the movie "The Sting."
The bride was beautiful in her wedding gown as she marched down the grassy aisle to the "Wedding March," which was played on an electric guitar by one of the groomsmen in a heavy metal, Jimi Hendrix-like version.
When it came time to say their vows, the bride and groom spontaneously decided to play "rock, paper, scissors" to decide who would go first.
Before they were pronounced "man and wife," the Sopranos dude told the groom he could kiss the bride.
Huh?
And then after they were introduced as the new Mr. and Mrs., the Sopranos dude again told the groom he could kiss his wife.
Let's just say the kiss went on to a point that I think if we hadn't been at a wedding, someone would've yelled out "Get a ROOM!"
Which they did.
Because right after the ceremony, the couple took off in an old convertible and I was told later that they went to go check out their hotel room, which family members had decorated earlier in the day.
Personally, I think the groom was not finished kissing his new wife...
An hour later, they returned and a nice reception was held inside. An acappella group of young college men who were friends of the groom, but looked to be all of 13, gave an outstanding performance.
Not only did they sound great, but they actually sang the old 1968 Steppenwolf tune, "Magic Carpet Ride" which got all of the gray-haired people in the audience excited as they bobbed their heads along with the music because it was a song they actually knew.
"At last, something that makes us feel relevant to the wedding!" the woman next to me exclaimed.
But it wasn't the non-traditional aspects of the wedding that bothered me. It was the champagne glasses that had stems, but no bottom. They were artfully placed in a bucket in the middle of the table and looked very nice, but once filled, you couldn't set them down.
Perhaps this is a trend, along with square plates, bowls and stemless wine glasses that are currently popular, but it kind of forced you to suck down the champagne so you could stick the glass back in the bucket.
If I recall correctly, I think we had Dixie cups at my wedding...